How Facebook Found Me A Husband

For the longest time I refused to get on Facebook. Wasn't doing it. No way no how. I really didn't want to reconnect with anyone from my high school or college or that ex-boyfriend from five years ago. I was obviously not in contact with those people for a reason right? My best friend, on of the few people
I was still in contact with from high school, convinced me to do it. I was on for 5 minutes and my first friend request was from Ex-Sex. I called Bestie, "Fuck You! Ex-Sex was the first person to request my friendship. Facebook can kiss my ass." I didn't get back on Facebook for a few weeks.

Slowly I started to reconnect with people. Of course I had my privacy set to the "super duper you can't find me or add me" setting so that I could select who to be friends with. I got a few emails from people asking why so-and-so couldn't add me... did I not like them, etc. This also made me regret joining.

One night, March 28th to be exact, I got an email from this guy that was a year ahead of me in school. Basically it was "Hey how you doin', I had a crush on you in 5th grade." I wrote back and the emails started flying back and forth. He was funny. He was complimentary. He was smart. He was also safe. He lived in another state, was divorced, and had two kids. ALL big No's for me. This would be a good flirting boy. Someone to keep me in practice.

I'm not sure what made me do what I did next. The flirting was fun? I was bored in Memphis? I had a psychotic break? I really don't know but I called him on Thursday April 16th and told him he would need to pick me up at the airport the next day.

Everyone in my life flipped out that I was just getting on an airplane on a whim and going to see him. I basically told them all it was none of my business. Coke Mama, who I will tell you about later, told me, "If you get raped don't call me crying." Nice huh? So I went for the weekend. We fell in love. We started talking marriage almost right away. We got married February 12th... less than a year after we started dating. We are mostly blissfully happy except when I'm bitching about living in Shithole, GA.

So that's how Facebook found me a husband. Thank God I finally caved to the peer-pressure.

Where To Start, Where To Start

I was super hesitant to do this again because I'm not sure what I want this to be. The other blog, which sadly I nuked and have no record of past 2005, started witha very specific purpose... to get over The Boy. Maybe this blog is to get over me.



This could be a "Encouraging Shit My Mom Says" blog. Example: "I know you have two degrees now and live in Shithole, Georgia where there are no jobs but maybe you should just go apply at McDonalds to, y'know, get out of the house."



It could be a "My Husband's Ex-Wife Is A Stupid Cunt" blog. Example: "You tell your new wife it's none of her business whether my kids bathe or not."



It could be "The Adventures of Lola in Shithole, Georgia" blog. Example: "Sweetie can we go out to dinner?" "Honey it's Thursday. Everything closes at eight." "We are fucking moving."



It could be a blog about my marriage but shit that seems boring. All marriage all the time. GAG.



It won't be a "Mommy" blog even though those two kids have taken to calling me StepMumsy because I don't know what the fuck I am doing 3/4's of the time.



I guess I'm just trying to figure it all out. Yes, I will post the wedding story or stories. It really was quite fabulous for only being planned in 8 weeks. I'm just going to try to start slow and hope y'all are entertained along the way.



And yes I know the title is misleading because I actually have MORE baggage but I was trying to be positive. Sue me.



(I will flash y'all a picture of my bouquet just for starters because I absolutely adored it and looking at it makes me smile.)

Getting Back In The Game - Maybe

So I've been gone awhile and am thinking about blogging again. Not sure if I really have anything else to say. But maybe I do. The easiest (and laziest) thing to do is ask for questions since I have been gone for almost a year so ask away. Please.